A couple weeks ago I went to the mall with two of my teammates to grab a few things we needed and use a bit of WiFi. I sat down to call a friend to wish her a happy birthday. The mall started playing “the first Noel” and I have no idea why, but I LOST it. Started ugly crying right there in the middle of a sea of strangers. Since being on the race I had not been homesick for even a second up until this point. I considered it the biggest blessing, because it was one less thing to distract me from being present where my feet are. But that day, for some reason, it all hit at once in the middle of that mall coffee shop. I wasn’t going to get to wake up to my little brother shaking me to get me out of bed on Christmas morning. I wasn’t going to be a part of that cute little sibling picture where we sit on the steps with our dogs before we walk downstairs to see everything under the tree. I wasn’t going to watch my dogs rip into their little stocking of treats and toys. I wasn’t going to count the snowmen hidden around my grandparents house in hopes to win a little bit of extra pocket money. I wasn’t going to look at all the Christmas lights around the neighborhood. I won’t eat grandma and grandpas cooking. I wasn’t going to snack on those classic sugar cookies all the grandkids get to help decorate. I wasn’t going to go to church with my family….
I was sitting there in that mall, having planned to be productive but instead wished my friend a happy birthday and then sat there shaken up. ALL of these things hit at once: the people I won’t see, the traditions I’ll miss out on, and how different this day was going to feel. I’ve never known Christmas to look any different, and now I’m thousands of miles away, living the most unconventional life. I love it and I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but man is it hard sometimes.
Christmas this year was so different. It wasn’t easy, but wow was it incredible. For ten days we lived in our tents on the side of a mountain. We worked with a different ministry, putting on kids programs for the community and just loving on them.
Our campsite!
Took this picture sitting in my tent. This is the view I woke up to every morning and fell asleep to every night. The first thing i saw when I woke up Christmas morning. WOW.
This picture was taken at our ministry for the week, with my favorite little boy, Kevinito. I’m so thankful for all the memories made with him, and those few days were not nearly enough with this kid 🙂
On Christmas morning, instead of my little brother shaking me awake, I woke up to the sound of horses shuffling around outside my tent. (This thing CHARGES at you)
Instead of the classic sibling picture, I did a little “family” photoshoot with my team.
Instead of watching my dogs go crazy playing with all their new toys, I played with the dogs that run around our campsite.
Instead of opening a big pile of gifts, my squad and I exchanged sweet and simple secret Santa gifts, AKA the best snacks we could find in the local convenience store. Instead of going to church with my family that morning, I spent my own time in prayer and worshipped with the whole squad. Instead of bringing all my gifts up to my room and going to bed that night, I brought my plantain chips back to my tent and snuggled up in my sleeping bag. I even made a makeshift Christmas tree for my “room.”
I didn’t get to call my family or friends on Christmas Day, but I celebrated with my family of missionaries here in Ecuador. I didn’t get a traditional Christmas, BUT, never again will I get to celebrate this day on the top of a mountain in Ecuador with 35 of my best friends. It wasn’t easy knowing that traditions back home were in full swing without me, but I can confidently say there is no place I would have rather been this Christmas than right here, right where the Lord wants me for now.
