Letting go as our first child set off for a nine month odyssey across three continents was not easy, and still isn’t. It took us a while to wrap our heads around what she wanted to do.
We know now that Reagan was called to this and is doing it for all the right reasons, but still, we are parents and letting go is hard. The World Race parent meetings, information sessions, speakers and worship were excellent. It was also nice to start a bond with some of the other World Race parents. Though I did not expect it going in, “launch weekend” relieved a huge chunk of our anxieties, and reinforced our understanding that Reagan is 100% committed to this. Seeing the commitment and kindness of her fellow racers was also comforting, and showed us that she’s not alone on this journey. She has her squad, and God to watch over her. But of course it hasn’t made us miss her any less.
If I close my eyes, I can still see, hear and feel Reagan in my arms as a toddler, as we would look out the window and up at the night sky to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star together before bedtime. It’s one of those precious memories you never forget. But she’s not a little girl anymore. She’s an intelligent young woman who has grown strong in her faith, in her desire to serve others that desperately need it, and in her calling to nurture others who need reminding of the Lord’s faithfulness. Her bravery and commitment to this service and ministry are truly inspiring.
For the last 18 years as parents, we’ve done our best to teach and lead. But now it’s the child that leads her parents. She makes me want to be a better person. Seeing and hearing about what she’s done in South Africa and is now doing in Ecuador, following the Lord’s call in her life, has made me grow in my own faith. She’s been a much needed kick start for me. The inertia is now there. I want to keep learning and growing in my own faith, and I have Reagan to thank for that.
We do feel fortunate to have the opportunity to catch up with her now and then by FaceTime or text, when she can get access to WiFi. We can see in photos from J-Bay, Joburg, Pretoria, Pietermaritzburg and now Quito, that Reagan is in her element. We can feel it when we read her blogs. We can see she is doing great things.
We know much of her work on the ground has been anything but easy, and we are certain she has protected us from the details about some of the worst things that she has seen and experienced. When a building is on fire, its inhabitants run away to safety, but the firefighters run toward the danger. It’s a special kind of bravery and instinctual selflessness that few have. I see some of that in her. As she shared with us, “sometimes the hardest things you’ll ever do end up being where you thrive the most.” We can see she was made for great things.
Though she’s still thousands of miles away (for another 5 months!), tonight I will look up at the night sky and see my little star. I will still be missing her, but I’ll know that Reagan is right where she needs to be, and that’s she is safe in His hands.
